International Love and Marriage

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It’s been a long time since I went to Canada in 2006. It was my first experience to live in foreign country, and travel as well. I have made a lot of foreign friends until now, and have seen international love and international marriage many times. Especially, I have seen many couples of Japanese female and foreign boyfriend or Japanese wife and foreign husband. Sometimes, I had some chances to talk about their couple life or marriage life. Unfortunately, I know some cases that they end up to divorce.

According to the data from Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare in Japan, the divorce percentage of international marriage in Japan is 70%.

In Japan, the divorce percentage of international marriage is very high. And I sometimes think

” Why?”

I, myself, like to live in foreign countries, and actually, I live in foreign country, so there is more chance to get married with a person from another country than Japan people who basically live in Japan. If I get married with someone, I really don’t want to divorce, and also, I would feel sorry to my children. So I thought that it is better to consider about the difference between ” International Love” and ” International Marriage” to avoid any trouble about international marriage.

International Love

“Love” is basically the issue between individuals. It is not only the case for “international love” So even you have different background or culture from your boyfriend or girlfriend and have some problems, you basically can solve them as individual problems between your boyfriend or girlfriend. The seriousness for marriage is different between Asian culture and Western culture. I feel that the seriousness for marriage in Asia is more serious than the one in Western culture. I think that if you get married with someone easily, the chance to divorce might increase. It depends on the people though.

International Marriage

So, what is different between “International Love” and ” International Marriage”? I think that they are totally different.

When you have some troubles with your husband or wife, you can not solve them as individual problems. For example, basically, family bond in foreign country is very strong comparing to the one in Japan, so when you fight with your husband or wife, he/she might not help you. If your husband or wife’s family understand you, it is good but, sometimes, from the Japanese point of view, their bond is too tight, so if you get married without knowing it, you would be in trouble.

How to avoid these problems

You need to get married after you understand boyfriend or girlfriend’s family, language, culture and society.

⇒ For example, Foreign husband(Individual B) gets married with a Japanese female (Individual A) and Individual B lives in Japan( I saw this case many times). If Individual B lives in Japan and work without knowing Japanese working culture, the life in Japan might be very hard for him. If the company has a lot of foreign staff and get used to the foreign staff, it might be a different story though…

⇒You have to learn husband or wife’s language if you live in his/her country because even you can talk with your husband/wife, I might get get stress if you can not talk with his/her family, relatives, or friends. You might feel lonely. Your husband/wife might not be able to help you all the time. If you fight with husband/wife’s parents, he/she might support his/her parents not helping you. You have to protect yourself if something happens. If you can speak your husband/wife’s language, there’s more opportunities to enjoy the life.

⇒ Without saying, it is essential to enjoy the daily life of your husband/wife’s country.

 Live in the third country

This case might be the best to keep good marriage life. The reason is that you don’t need to think about husband/wife’s family, culture, relatives, etc too much. There is more chance you can solve some problems between husband and wife as individual problems. If you miss family, you can go back to your country sometimes, and can see your family. In third country, you are both foreigners, so you can make effort together. However, if you or husband/wife don’t have permanent visa or nationality in the third country, it would be a problem because you can not get any support from the government.

ーExtra Editionー

I just feel that some western people are handsome even they get old. Some young females might fall in love to the guy even though the guy has a wife and children. If it happens, what is the next action for the guy. “Reject or Accept?”  By the way, this happened to some of my friends.

I have some friends whose parents had an international marriage, and end up to divorce. They had a hard time when they were children. I don’t want anyone to make it happens… So this is the main reason I wrote this blog. 

I wrote the difference between the ” International Love” and ” International Marriage”. Thank you very much for reading this blog.

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